Healing the Little One Inside You 💛

Hi My Friend,

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the quiet ache so many of us carry, the one that surfaces when life slows down, when relationships feel heavy, or when something touches an old wound. That ache whispers, “There’s still a part of me that needs to be held.” That part of you is your inner child, the tender, intuitive, creative part of you that still remembers what it felt like to need safety, love, and understanding but didn’t always receive it.

Many of us learned early on to trade authenticity for acceptance. We became who we needed to be to feel safe, the achiever, the peacekeeper, the quiet one.

We grew up strong, capable, and successful, but somewhere inside, that little one still waits for permission to just be. Healing your inner child is important because unhealed wounds show up in adult life in ways we often don’t recognize.

It might be perfectionism, people-pleasing, emotional over-giving, difficulty setting boundaries, fear of rejection, or constantly seeking approval. You might notice you avoid intimacy, struggle with trust, or self-sabotage when things feel too close.

These patterns are not flaws, they’re survival strategies your inner child developed to cope with inconsistent or conditional love. Understanding and healing these patterns allows you to experience more authentic relationships, inner peace, and freedom from unconscious patterns.

For years, my inner child believed love had to be earned, through achievement, doing, helping, and fixing. She believed if she kept everyone happy, she wouldn’t be left behind. That little girl didn’t know she was already enough.

She didn’t know that being sensitive, intuitive, and different was her gift, not her flaw. As an adult, those survival patterns showed up as over-responsibility, perfectionism, and emotional burnout.

I mistook independence for strength and busy-ness for worth. It took years, and a lot of breathwork, therapy, plant medicine, journaling, and tears, to realize she didn’t need to be fixed. She just needed to be seen, heard, and held.

Sometimes, the deepest healing comes from connection rather than analysis. I want to share a letter I wrote to my inner child, maybe it will speak to yours too.

Dear Little Me,

When I see you. I remember how much you wanted to make everyone proud. I remember the way you used to look out the window and dream about something bigger, the life you knew you were meant for. You never quite fit in, and that’s because you weren’t meant to.

You were always meant to stand out, to see the world through a lens others couldn’t yet understand. That sensitivity you tried to hide? It’s your superpower. That ability to feel everything so deeply? That’s the gift that allows you to help others heal.

I know you were scared sometimes. You tried to be perfect so no one would leave. You made yourself small to make others comfortable. But you never needed to be less, you just needed to be you. You will grow into a woman who helps others find their breath, their courage, and their peace. You’ll learn that healing doesn’t mean forgetting the past, it means loving yourself through it.

You’ll stand on stages, lead circles, and create spaces where people feel safe for the first time in their lives. You’ll help them come home to the parts of themselves they’ve long buried, because you’ll have done that for yourself first. And when life feels heavy, you’ll remember: you were born for this. You were made to be different. You were made to shine. Keep your heart open, little one. The world needs what you carry.

With love,
Me

If that letter stirred something inside you, I want to invite you to do the same. Write a letter to your own inner child this week.

Tell them what you wish someone had told you, that it’s okay to be different, that they’re safe now, that they never had to earn love to deserve it. Write to them like you would to your own child. Be gentle, be honest, be loving. And if the tears come, let them. That’s how healing begins.

Much of our inner child pain comes from words we heard growing up, phrases that were often subtle but deeply shaping, even if our parents didn’t intend harm.

“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” taught us our emotions weren’t safe. “Because I said so” taught us our voice didn’t matter. “You’re too sensitive” taught us empathy was a flaw. “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” taught us we weren’t enough as we were.

And “Good girls don’t get angry” taught us to suppress our truth. These messages leave traces in our nervous system, shaping how we relate to ourselves and others.

Healing begins when we reframe these messages, offering ourselves what we always needed: validation, safety, and love.

Healing your inner child as an adult is not a straight path, it’s a winding, emotional, and often disorienting journey. It’s the moment you realize that the strong, independent, capable version of you has been carrying around a child who was never meant to carry so much weight. The adult in you may resist at first, she’s used to control, logic, and keeping things “together.” But the inner child doesn’t understand logic. She understands love, safety, and being seen.

As adults, we often seek healing with the same determination we approach everything else, we want to fix it, to move past it, to find the lesson and graduate. But the truth is, your inner child doesn’t want to be fixed, he/she wants to be felt. He/She wants to be held, not analyzed. This work can feel raw because it asks you to slow down, to listen to parts of yourself you’ve spent decades quieting.

There will be moments when you feel anger surface, not just at your parents or past, but at yourself for the years spent disconnected. You may feel grief for the little one who never got to play freely, or for the adult who learned to shrink in order to survive. And yet, this grief is sacred. It’s proof that you are finally safe enough to feel. Healing doesn’t erase what happened, it transforms your relationship to it.

It’s in the everyday moments that this transformation reveals itself, when you pause before reacting, when you choose compassion over criticism, when you finally feel comfortable saying “no” or “I need.” That’s your inner child learning that she’s safe inside your adult body now. That she’s home.

So if it feels messy, confusing, or even exhausting at time, you’re doing it right. Healing the inner child isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.

About five years ago, I reached a point in my healing where therapy and breathwork, as powerful as they were, could only take me so far. I could feel that something deeper was calling, a layer buried beneath years of protection and survival.

That’s when ayahuasca found me.

I didn’t go seeking an escape, I went seeking truth. In ceremony, she revealed the parts of me I couldn’t access through words or breath alone, the pain I had inherited, the love I had forgotten, the forgiveness I had been withholding from myself. It wasn’t easy. There were moments of deep purging, release, and surrender. But it was there, in the jungle and in the stillness afterward, that I felt myself reconnect to something ancient and pure within me. She was one of my greatest teachers, guided me through those sacred spaces with integrity and compassion, reminding me that healing isn’t just about letting go, it’s about remembering who we’ve always been. That journey changed everything.

If you are looking for a deeper journey we have a retreat for you.

Then came 9D Breathwork. Sharing this experience with my mom has been generational and inner child healing in itself. Breath bypasses the thinking mind and meets our emotions where they truly live, in the body.

Through breath, music, and guided intention, we create space to reconnect with those younger parts of ourselves. Breathwork also ties beautifully into attachment theory, which shows how early experiences with love shape our adult relationships.

If love felt inconsistent, we may now chase reassurance; if love felt overwhelming, we may pull away; and if love was absent or unpredictable, we may oscillate between both. But the beautiful truth is that awareness and practice can shift these patterns.

Every time you breathe through discomfort instead of abandoning yourself, every time you pause instead of reacting, you are teaching your system a new story: “I am safe. I can love and be loved without losing myself.”

If you feel ready to go deeper, I want to share a resource that can guide you through your inner child work, shadow work, and attachment patterns. My Attachment Theory & Shadow Work Workbook is designed to help you identify your attachment style, uncover your inner patterns, and integrate these insights through writing, reflection, and breath awareness exercises. It’s perfect for anyone who wants to understand why they react the way they do, and how to begin creating secure, loving connections, with themselves and others.

And if you want to experience this healing in person, I’d love for you to join us at our next session.

Healing Your Inner Child Breathwork Class takes place this Thursday from 6:00–9:00 PM at the Hall Park Hotel. You can bring a friend or family member for free who’s ready to begin their healing journey too.

Together, we’ll use breath, music, and guided reflection to reconnect with your inner child, release old emotional patterns, and begin rewriting your inner narrative. You’ll leave feeling lighter, freer, and deeply seen, by yourself and by others walking the same path.

You are not broken.

You are not too much.

You are simply unfolding.

Remembering the truth of who you were before the world told you who to be.

Your inner child has been waiting for this moment for you.

Come breathe, come heal, and come home to yourself.

With love,
Dr. Rachel Sims & Mama Lisa
Breath by Design | Uncomplicated Therapy