The Sacred Fire Inside You (Anger & Rage)

Hi My Friend,

Most of us were never taught how to feel anger. We were taught how to hide it, swallow it, or reshape it into something more socially acceptable. Growing up, many of us witnessed anger used in ways that felt unsafe, so we learned to associate anger with chaos instead of truth. Others were raised in homes where emotions were swallowed and silence was the only acceptable response, so we learned to disconnect from our own emotional signals. We learned to stay composed, agreeable, helpful, polite. But emotional suppression is not peace. It is the body holding its breath.

As a therapist with a doctorate in counseling and specialization in trauma and attachment, I am trained to understand how anger forms in the mind. In the clinical world we explore beliefs, internal narratives, childhood patterning, and the meaning we make of relational experiences. This work is powerful because anger often begins as a cognitive and emotional response to feeling unseen, unheard, or unsafe. But therapy alone can only reach the part of the anger that lives in the story. As a Breathwork & 9D Breathwork facilitator, I see where anger is stored in the body. I see how it settles into the jaw, chest, ribs, hips, and diaphragm. I see how the breath becomes shallow and held. I see how the nervous system braces for impact even when no threat is present. The mind remembers the event, but the body remembers the impact. That is the difference. The clinical work explains the anger. The breathwork completes it. One brings awareness to the narrative. The other releases the pattern from the nervous system itself.

I think of a client who came to me during the quiet unraveling of his marriage. He described himself as calm and rational, but inside his chest was tight and restless. His anger was showing up as irritability, shortness, and tension. He thought his anger meant that he was losing control. But as we explored it, we uncovered the truth beneath the fire. He had spent years being emotionally present and available for others while rarely receiving emotional partnership in return. His anger was not explosive. It was protective. It was saying, “I cannot continue abandoning myself to be loved.” The alchemy was teaching him to speak his needs without apology. The anger softened the moment his truth was allowed to exist.

Another client, a woman who had always been the caretaker, came into breathwork feeling heavy and numb. During her journey, her body began shaking, and she cried in a way she had not allowed herself to in decades. Her anger was the voice of the part of her who was tired of carrying everyone else. Not destructive anger, but the anger of a child who never got to be held. The moment her body was allowed to release the emotion, her voice returned. Her boundaries returned. Her self-respect returned. That is alchemy.

Men experience this too, just often in silence. Many men were taught that emotional expression equals weakness. So they push their feelings down until they no longer feel much at all. Their anger does not always look loud. Sometimes it looks like emotional distance. Silence. Withdrawal. Overworking. Numbness. Their nervous system is not calm. It is overwhelmed. The alchemy for men is giving permission to feel without judgment. When they finally exhale, the body releases pressure it has been holding for years.

We are living in a time of constant stimulation and emotional overload. We receive more information in one day than previous generations processed in weeks. Our nervous systems are being asked to respond to everything, all the time. Always reachable. Always absorbing. Always performing. The body was not designed to live without rest, stillness, or emotional processing.

This chronic overwhelm keeps the nervous system in a low-grade survival state. When the body does not feel safe, it cannot regulate. When it cannot regulate, emotions cannot move. They accumulate. They pressure the system. Eventually the body says, “I cannot hold this anymore.” That moment often appears as anger.

We are also living in a time of awakening. People are no longer willing to abandon themselves to maintain relationships, roles, careers, or expectations that do not honor who they are. Awakening begins as discomfort. The nervous system responds to truth with heat. Rage is often a sign that a person is remembering they deserve more.

When anger is suppressed, the breath becomes shallow. The jaw tightens. The rib cage stiffens. The heart rate increases. The muscles brace. The immune system weakens. The body becomes tired but cannot rest. Present but disconnected. Functioning but not alive. This is not emotional instability. This is a nervous system trying to protect you.

Regulation is not the absence of emotion. Regulation is the ability to stay present with your emotion. To feel the fire without being consumed by it. To hear the message without collapsing under it. This is where somatic practices such as breathwork become essential. They speak directly to the nervous system, which is where anger is stored. Ayahuasca reveals the root of our pain. Breathwork rewires the patterns that pain created. The breath teaches the body how to feel again, without fear.

The Alchemy of Anger

Alchemy is the transformation of emotional energy into understanding, direction, and power. It is not about eliminating anger. It is about learning to listen to it. Below are everyday alchemy practices to support regulation and release.

1. The Four Count Breath
Inhale for 4. Hold for 4. Exhale for 4. Hold for 4 until the shoulders soften.

2. Speak the Boundary
Say the sentence your body needed to say. Even if alone. “My needs matter.” “I am allowed to walk away.”

3. Touch the Body Where It Feels Tight
Place a hand on the chest or ribs. Say, “I am listening.” Safety allows emotion to move.

4. Shake for Thirty Seconds
Shake the arms, jaw, legs. This releases adrenaline so the anger does not store.

5. Write the Truth for One Minute
No filter. No performance. The release is the medicine.

6. Ask the Real Question
Not “Why am I angry?” But “What is this protecting?” Anger always protects something sacred.

Anger says, “I deserve more.” Rage says, “I am ready to change.”

Healing says, “I am allowed to return to myself.”

Your anger is not a problem. Your anger is your power calling you back home.

If this resonates, if you felt yourself in these words, or if you know there is anger, grief, pressure, or fire moving inside you that is ready to be released, I want to invite you to join us this Sunday at More Than Yoga from 1:00 to 4:00 pm.

This session is specifically designed to help you release anger and rage somatically through the body so that it does not have to live in your chest, your jaw, your breath, or your nervous system anymore.

We will move through a guided 9D Breathwork Journey focused on clearing emotional memory stored in the body, followed by a one hour Holographic Sound Healing experience to soothe, recalibrate, and anchor the new version of you that emerges when the weight finally lifts.

If your body is calling for release, if your heart is tired of holding it all, if you are ready to feel lighter, clearer, and more grounded in your own truth, this is your space.

Come breathe with us.
Your anger is ready to transform into something sacred.

With love,
Dr. Rachel Sims & Mama Lisa
Breath by Design | Uncomplicated Therapy